Christina Geis, the person…

In a style all my own, I became emerged into church leadership including serving on Session. We had a cozy sized congregation with beautiful cross generational gaps and I really tried to engage in learning how to connect THE WORD to my life. How did I fit in as a wife, a mother, a church goer when I was really someone who really couldn’t fully RELY on GOD?

I had moments of growth, and gratitude….but ten years later, I still struggle with where I fit in at church.

Today I engage in offering a message to the children once a month. Typically my days fall on a Sunday that are monumentious events such as Mother’s Day or Father’s Day….events that really fill up the pews and honestly, I am very proud of the message I deliver on those days because if you knew my preparation process, you’d be surprised at how eloquent the message comes across and the ONLY reason that happens…is truly the HOLY SPIRIT. I ask the HS to help me understand what I need to share, and boom the HS is faithful and delivers!

As I write this I reflect that in this short lived blog that I had said in two occasions that kids are CHURCH (for me). 1. becoming a mother brought me to church 2. sharing the children’s message keeps me at church! and just to squeeze this in here is #3. I am thankful for the combination of the holy trinity.

The Holy Spirit is something I feel lives in me. The words that I really need to support me, just appear in my mind sometimes. I receive affirmations and when I really need encouragement, I truly feel this. I can hone in on being in a valley that I’ve never walked and I will probably rarely speak of….just to feel a gentle pat to keep going knowing that I may end up experiencing something wonderful if I can just keep showing up and I do.

I am in a strange place right now because our church is in a transitional period with their pastor and in simple terms, I can’t focus on hearing scripture from different people, with different personalities week after week. I find that VERY distracting honestly because having foundational trust is important for me to have a relationship with ANY one. Its not that I don’t trust the messge they are sharing, but I find myself speaking over their words with the same story in my mind “this is their time to shine! Listen, smile and try to hear the words that they wish to share with you because they have prepared and prayed about this very moment” but it’s so very hard to listen with a clear heart.